By Sally RudoyI would like to secede from myself, please. I petition to withdraw from the anxious, obsessional conglomerate that at times rules my actions and mood. Let me respectfully and peacefully depart from the parts of myself that I think are not serving my best interests and with whom I share little save for a body and a name. Frankly, they really are “not-me.” In this, I am like Texas and, if some online news organizations are to believed, like Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, North Carolina and Tennessee. We all share secession fever.
Self governance is difficult when parts of yourself are at war. Just ask Abraham Lincoln. Things would be so much easier if my dependent, fearful self would not block the initiatives of my independent, bolder self. So what if Miss Nervous Nellie kept me from jumping from an ungodly height into the inviting coolness of the quarry below last summer? Sometimes, you have to go over a cliff -- fiscal, personal, or otherwise to move things forward.
Now, some may say that a house divided against itself cannot stand. Well, you will get no argument from me there. Where we disagree is what to do about it. You may say it is important for divergent parts of the self to work things out, to compromise, to find a way to live in relative integration and understanding. I say let those divisive parts divide.
If I can secede from myself, I promise I will be neighborly. The border between my free and unfettered parts and the hand-wringers across the way will be firm but cordial.
I wish, like Texas, I could get a reasonable response to my petition from the President. I am afraid, however, that even if I could garner the 25,000 digital petition signatures necessary, it would be an uphill battle. I will not let myself withdraw from myself without a fight.
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